I'm sorry

Sunday, August 10, 2014 0 comments

I'm sorry.

You've heard those two words from me too many times already and i'm afraid that the day may come where you'll stop wanting to accept my apologies. I know that over the past few months of being together, you have gotten to know who i really am past the facade that i have put on. I've always been keen on trying to hide it but to my dismay, you have successfully broken my high concrete walls.You, now, see through me and realize that i am a vulnerable raw wound who needs saving, a puzzle with too many pieces missing, a little girl with so much self loath and so little self esteem.

And i'm sorry because as much as i hate it, my deeply rooted insecurities is a part of me. I am sorry because instead of being in a relationship between two equals, you are giving me so much more than i could ever give. You are willing to waste your time to give me self worth, to plant kisses on me that eventually i may grow to love myself, You sing me melodies, rub my feet after a long day, bring me food, cover me with your warmth but in the end, the cold still seeps through and i remain as frozen as the winter weather.

You should have left me the moment you saw a glimpse of it, you should have ran away, that would have saved you from a lot of heartbreaks. Darling, You deserve the best kind of love, Not the damaged kind, Not the kind i could offer. I want you to leave me not because i don't love you but because i have never loved anyone this much and i am tired of seeing you in pain, whats worst is that i am the reason. I want you to find a girl who deserves you, Who will love you as much as you love me.

But you, you are a stubborn little thing, aren't you?  and no matter how hard i try to push you away, you clutch on me more, holding on to me with every single thing you've got. Since now you've made it clear that no amount of pushing you away would make you leave me, I have made a choice and that is to allow you to love me with every fiber in your body, hoping that maybe that kind of love could heal permanent scars, and in return i will love you with everything i have. Day by day, i will give you my heart as dented and bruised as it may be. It may not be as much love as you've given me, but i swear that i am loving you with every bit and piece of love i have in me. 


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