Meet Justine.

Meet Justine Darielle David Pobre

Vain niya grabe -.- Haha

I wrote this a week ago but i couldn't find the courage to post it online. finally after my 5-day internal struggle and a One peso coin toss, I have garnered enough strength to publish this on my blog.

Today, I feel... Well, I can't point out a single emotion that could describe exactly how i feel. I'm consumed by different exhilarating emotions that have suddenly popped up out of the blue and has intruded my life without a warning signal. It's unlike any known force in the universe, it shakes the soul and fills you with all these overwhelming sensations. Quite frankly, it's wonderful and frustrating all at the same time.

It took me a while to accept these feelings and truthfully, i haven't even fully coped yet. I have emotional issues as most of you may know but believe me when i say that i'm doing my best to burry these worries and fears in my own mental casket 6 ft. below the ground. It's not easy, not at all. But i know that it's going to be worth it.

Though there is still that unnerving conscious thought of fear that sometimes, makes me want to moonwalk out of the door again. I still seem to find myself running back to him. it's a force that i cannot control. I can't help but gravitate towards him.

Whenever i'm with him, I feel this deep sense of euphoria that emanates from me. I become this happy, carefree and joyful girl who would vomit sunshine if only she could. Am i too deeply entwined? Perhaps. Am i attached too much, too soon? Probably. But you can not blame me. I've waited more than a year for him to see me the way that i see him. For more than a year, I made myself look like a complete idiot, cried myself to sleep and eaten too many chocolates out of utter sadness. I was hopelessly inlove with him while he was hopelessly pursuing someone else. But those things doesn't matter anymore. You know what matters? What matters is now, the person i see when all pretenses fade away, What matters is the way i can't stop thinking about him, the depth of his soul when i look into his eyes, the intensity of what i feel and mostly, Him. He is what matters.

I know that it seems like i'm exaggerating again. I may seem over board but please, bear with me and my melodramatic self.

Don't get me wrong. We're not really 'together'. I have a phobia of commitment, I fear monogamy. So boyfriend-girlfriend relationships aren't really my thing. It's confusing actually but i think I'll save those thoughts for another post.