Still yours

I admit.

I admit that sometimes, i can be a selfish bitch, a pain in the ass and just downright hard to deal with. In the past, we've had our share of arguments and even if most of the times, i blamed it on you, made it look like it was your fault, we both knew that it was always me, it was always my fault. I know that i'm not always the best version of myself and ever so often i try to push you away because i feel like i don't deserve you. 

Everyday, I'm afraid that one more period of irritability and i might push you over the edge. I'm afraid that another more night of me crying for no reason and calling you names would make you wonder of sticking with me is a mistake. Everyday, I am afraid of losing you but even in those moments, You melt my walls of resentment into love and understanding. You hold my hand, squeezing it tight, telling me how you never want to let go. You look at me and drown me with your fondness, showing me how losing me scares you so damn much. 

And everyday, I will never get tired of crawling back to you to kiss away all the  emotional scars that i have caused. And the next time that i start slamming doors, I promise to place your hand on my chest  so that you would know that even in those moments, My heart is still yours.