Dear Math

If you know me then you probably know that i'm very emotional. The simplest things can make me want to cry my heart out. A few examples are..

1.) When I remember my mom.
2.) When someone gets mad at me or when others criticize me.
3.) The feeling of not being good enough.
4.) Feeling unloved.
5.) Seeing other people getting hurt.
6.) Watching sad, heart-warming movies.
7.) Realizing that there is a possibility that I may never meet Harry, Niall, Liam, Louis and Zayn.
8.) Failing my Algebra Midterm Examination

8.) Failing my Algebra Midterm Examination

8.) Failing my Algebra Midterm Examination

8.) Failing my Algebra Midterm Examination


Yes, I failed my Algebra Midterm Examination. The moment I saw my score, I wanted to run out of the class room and hide in some unknown place where i can cry without anybody hearing me. I hate feeling like a failure. Actually, I hate failing in general. I can clearly remember how I felt when i received my exam paper. My eyes were getting heavier and heavier with each passing second as I tried my best to hold back the tears that were slowly building up.  I wasn’t the only one who failed. In fact, almost all of us did.

I don’t understand why im having such a hard time. I remember when I was younger, I used to proudly sit in class while waiting for my Math subject to start. It was my favorite subject of all. After classes, I would waste my time answering mathematical problems not because I was required to but just because of the fact that I found math FUN.  But now? I would do anything just to get out of my math class. Its difficult, complicated and just out of this world. AND it doesn’t help that my teacher, whose name I will not dare mention, doesn’t even discuss the lesson. He simply gives us examples, answers them then expects us to understand it!

Please tell me, how in the world would I understand it?

THROUGH MAGIC?

PIXIE DUST?

OR THROUGH CHANNELING THE SPIRITS OF MATHEMATICS?

HOW?!!

TELL ME!!

I hope he puts in mind that we’re not engineering students, we’re not geniuses nor scholars but we’re just average college students trying to learn the lesson that he doesn’t even care to explain! Now, this is turning into a rant but I don’t give a fudge. I’m really really REALLY annoyed right now.

Don’t even get me started with the questions in the exams. Why does it have to be so complicated? Can’t it be just pure, testing ONLY the required skills? Isn’t that the entire purpose of our math subject? For us to learn and apply certain math skills? But instead of being THAT, they choose to test us with large numbers and unnecessary distracting calculations. Why? I DON’T KNOOOW!

I’m not mad, i just wish that they would realize that I want to learn and retain every lesson but math for me is unlike any other subject. It’s traumatic! The slightest misunderstanding or break in logic overwhelms me with tears and panic. Whenever my math professor enters the room, I become highly emotional. Every time he gives us tests, tears fill my eyes. Now, i know i'm being melodramatic again. don't worry, i'm about to end this post but before i do please don’t think that I’m not trying because I do try. I have attempted and failed so many times.

It frustrates me to know that i’m not good at math. I'm fine when it comes to other subjects. I’m not trying to boast but when it comes to subjects unrelated to math, I’m pretty good. But when you put math in the equation? Allow me to show you how to single-handedly fail.